For a statement to be truly informative it should contain 1) the point and
2) explanation. When we write a paragraph, we present the point in the topic
sentence and the explanation in the discussion. When we are restricted to presenting
our point in a single sentence (as we sometimes are in real situations), the
statement will not be persuasive if it doesn't have an explanation. We must
think carefully about the information value of these single-sentence statements.
| In the process of providing goods and services for tourists, unemployed labor resources can be absorbed in the tourism industry. |
| The residents in the developing countries can feel discontent and disillusionment when they compare their living conditions to the high-living tourists. |
| Tourism can improve the living standards of residents since it can cause the development of basic facilities and inflow of tourist money. |
| ORIGINAL | Traditional cultures can be degenerated to become mere money-spinner. |
| IMPROVED | Traditional culture can degenerate if tourism is regarded only as a money-spinner and cultural elements are cheapened, like imitation traditional weddings. |
| ORIGINAL | Through the tourism industry, a country can earn foreign currency. |
| IMPROVED |
The foreign currency that tourists spend in the country will boost the country's foreign currency reserves and allow the country to buy other goods from abroad, to develop industry further. |
| ORIGINAL | Residents will try to keep their region clean and beautiful. |
| IMPROVED | Residents will improve the cleanliness and beauty of their country if they know that the rest of the world is looking. |
| ORIGINAL | To develop tourism, many skilled foreign workers will be imported. |
| IMPROVED | Many skilled workers will be imported to construct and service the tourism industry, which will not help local employment and will cause foreign currency to leak away when these workers remit their salaries. |