Well-supported Claims?

What do you think of the support of general statements in this essay written by a native English speaker? As you read the article, find claims that the writer did not support. (Try to ignore your opinion on this issue.) Below, your teacher has underlined examples of claims that he feels need further development.

Letters to the Editor: Biased strike coverage

As an American currently residing in Korea, I am writing to express my deep disappointment at the biased and untransparent manner in which this publication has covered the recent doctor's strike.

It is apparent that this publication has not attempted to represent this story in a manner that takes into account the point of view of all sides in this terrible situation.

Instead, all of the articles blame the doctors for their "collective greed and egoism" as the only cause of this strike. Besides being a direct quote from the president, this type of reporting only antagonizes an already delicate issue.

Doctors already feel alienated from the rest of society. By casting them as the scapegoats, the real issue behind this strike is kept opaque.

I have talked to many doctors about the strike. It is quite clear to me that the current crisis is more than just a reflection of their greed and collective egoism, but is indeed an indictment of the entire health care system in Korea.

Anyone who has taken a deeper look at the subject will soon realize that the health care system in Korea is deeply flawed, mainly because of bureaucratic mismanagement by the government.

Doctors are not to be blamed for this situation, and they need to be included in the process of fixing the system. Furthermore, the strike has thrown into high relief some of the main diseases existent in the political system in Korea.

This terrible situation has come about because of weaknesses in the political system which prevent the parties from resolving their differences in a socially beneficial way. The situation has degenerated into a brute power game with people's lives left in the lurch.

It is not just the doctors that are holding patients' lives hostage, it is the entire political system that is doing so.

True blame must be laid at the feet of those individuals who have allowed these conflicts to fester. They have not attempted to assuage the doctor's long-standing anger at the system and have resorted to using the top-down tactics of power politics to change the system and enforce their views.

I am in no way excusing the doctors' aggressive action and I do not support this type of display of power politics. I, along with everyone in Korea, would like this situation to be resolved immediately.

This publication, however, has a responsibility to print the truth. That means presenting differing points of view on subjects such as this.

A fully independent and neutral free press is at the core of the process of creating a transparent, open democracy. I urge reporters to practice more professionalism and independent thinking in their work.

Jordan Wolff, Seoul

07/01/2000

(C) Copyright 1999 Digital Korea Herald All rights reserved

 

Look for your teacher's explanations below this text.

As an American currently residing in Korea, I am writing to express my deep disappointment at the biased and untransparent manner in which this publication has covered the recent doctor's strike.

It is apparent that this publication has not attempted to represent this story in a manner that takes into account the point of view of all sides (1) in this terrible situation.

Instead, all of the articles blame the doctors for their "collective greed and egoism" as the only cause of this strike (2). Besides being a direct quote from the president, this type of reporting only antagonizes an already delicate issue.

Doctors already feel alienated from the rest of society (3). By casting them as the scapegoats, the real issue behind this strike is kept opaque.

I have talked to many doctors about the strike. It is quite clear to me that the current crisis is more than just a reflection of their greed and collective egoism, but is indeed an indictment of the entire health care system in Korea.

Anyone who has taken a deeper look at the subject will soon realize that the health care system in Korea is deeply flawed (4), mainly because of bureaucratic mismanagement by the government (5).

Doctors are not to be blamed for this situation (6), and they need to be included in the process of fixing the system. Furthermore, the strike has thrown into high relief some of the main diseases existent in the political system in Korea.

This terrible situation has come about because of weaknesses in the political system which prevent (7) the parties from resolving their differences in a socially beneficial way. The situation has degenerated into a brute power game with people's lives left in the lurch.

It is not just the doctors that are holding patients' lives hostage, it is the entire political system that is doing so.

True blame must be laid at the feet of those individuals (8) who have allowed these conflicts to fester. They have not attempted to assuage the doctor's long-standing anger (9) at the system and have resorted to using the top-down tactics of power politics (10) to change the system and enforce their views.

I am in no way excusing the doctors' aggressive action and I do not support this type of display of power politics. I, along with everyone in Korea, would like this situation to be resolved immediately.

This publication, however, has a responsibility to print the truth. That means presenting differing points of view on subjects such as this.

A fully independent and neutral free press is at the core of the process of creating a transparent, open democracy. I urge reporters to practice more professionalism and independent thinking in their work.

1. The writer accused the Herald of failing to present "the view of all sides," but the writer hasn't done it either.
2.  Why is it wrong to characterize "collective greed and egoism" as wrong?
3.  Do you mean they have been feeling aliented since before their strike? Why? Can you give some proof?
4.  How is it flawed?
5.  Mainly? Because of bureaucratic mismanagement? Can you give some examples? Can you prove it?
6. No blame? Maybe you could explain why you think they are completely innocent.
7. What are the weaknesses, specifically?
8. Which individuals? Can you give us some names, or at least their titles?
9. Can you give us some instances of opportunities they had, but wasted, to "assuage the doctor's [sic] anger"?
10. Name at least one instance of this. And prove it.

A further note

A bad habit that many columnists and letter writers have formed in the past ten years is writing one- and two-sentence paragraphs. Previously, a one- or two-sentence paragraph was used sparingly, with the purpose of adding emphasis. Now, when almost every paragraph is so short, the only thing that is accomplished is lack of full development of the idea.